Career Consulting Limited
www.career-consulting-limited.com
|
|
 |
People |
|
|
 |
Successful Change Starts With A Shift In Perspective
Like so many in corporate America today, Susan needed more balance in her life-but she did not know how to get it. Faced with a 60-hour work week and a lengthy daily commute, Susan was left with little time for outside interests. Her job was literally draining her of energy, and her attitude at work was changing, especially within her business unit. Who is Susan? Susan is a composite of thousands of executives who are pushed to the brink by trying to juggle demands on the job with demands at home. Susan could be you. At work, Susan was accepting extra work and projects and was not able to say "no" to her boss. She became frustrated and drained. By accepting everything and not speaking up for herself, Susan became increasingly frustrated and angry. She became more demanding and less flexible with her own team. Her usual encouragement to "think outside the box" was replaced by a controlling "do as I say" attitude. Micromanagement became her style. As a result, her staff appeared less involved in their work. They began to distance themselves from her. On the social front, Susan was also making unhealthy choices-spending time with friends and family that were draining and burdensome and then keeping silent and angry about it. She did not have anybody to talk with about her experiences and frustration, so there was no one who could help her develop the perspective necessary to propel her toward greater personal fulfillment. Like so many other executives, Susan believed that if she increased her hours and worked harder, life at work would get better. Are you just like Susan? Do you think that if you become more demanding and micro-manage your employees, the job will get done? Do you think keeping silent makes the problems go away? To anyone who still believes this way, this is your wake up call. It does not work. Change is the answer-change coupled with a shift in perspective. But sustaining meaningful change is never easy. It takes desire, intention, a clear vision, a good plan . . . and commitment. Change also takes time. In our increasingly busy lives we often get overwhelmed with demands on our time. Complacency sets in, and we lose the ability to overcome inertia-the tendency of a body at rest to stay at rest or of a body in motion along a certain path to stay in motion along that path. To change, we must create structure that encourages and supports change, and it begins with an all-important shift in perspective. Instead of living in silence and hiding-or being overly controlling in our work relationships-or feeling that we need to leave our job-we can start by considering a more fulfilling alternative. In Susan's case, she looked at what energized her, what she was good at, and what gave her joy. She put limits on the amount of work she was willing to take on and began speaking up to make sure her needs were heard and met. She shifted from being a controlling team leader to one that encouraged risk-taking and "thinking outside the box." The result? Greater group cohesion and less stress for everyone involved. Group members felt less restricted and more empowered. Susan added greater value to her company and the results were visible and rewarded. More opportunities-the kind of opportunities Susan wanted-started coming her way. At the same time, Susan developed criteria for what she wanted in her relationships. She evaluated her current relationships and determined which ones needed to be addressed. She began to speak up to make her needs known, and in some cases she ended unfulfilling relationships. As she revised her standards and set limits, she gained more energy to try new activities outside of work-re-awakening areas of interest that she had long ago left behind. Susan's success story can be your success story, too. And it starts with four simple steps. You must . . . 1. Be clear about your intentions to make a change; (c) 2004, by Steven Bacharach Psy.D. All rights in all media reserved. This article may be reprinted so long as it is kept intact with the copyright and by-line. Steven Bacharach, Psy.D. is a personal coach to executives who are seeking more fulfillment in all areas of their life. To learn more about coaching and arrange a complimentary session, contact Steven Bacharach Psy.D. by email at stevenb@onthemarconsulting.com, by phone at (508) 358-9565, or visit his Web site at www.onthemarconsulting.com
MORE RESOURCES:
Google News |
|
|
|
RELATED ARTICLES
Solution-Focused Therapy Most types of psychotherapy involve exploring feelings, being validated, finding explanations, exploring wishes and dreams, setting goals, and gaining clarity. Every therapist has unique ways of working with clients, based on his or her personality, training, and views of how people change. The Art of Change We don't change. I imagine such a statement could find a lot of opinionated opposition if it implied a lack of growth, whether that be on a knowledgeable level, a logical or spiritual one, but in this case we refer to ourselves and who we are in relation to who we were when we decided to grace this world with our presence. Living In The Now I hope you are sitting down as you read this! You cannot begin to work on this kind of subject without addressing the subject of time itself - and when was the last time you did that?There are three basic areas or modules of time that are most commonly referred to:1)The Past2)The Present3)The FutureWhat I would like to do is have you work out where the "present" is though. In the time it has taken you to read just those last few words, that space in time that we might refer to as the present has gone. Make Progress Now: Take the Hand Brakes Off Your Life! Do you find yourself striving upward in life yet making little or no progress?Are you high on activity but low on achievement?Very clearly, it's time to stop, look and listen.You're obviously not doing something right. Words That Inspire - PEACE WORDS THAT INSPIREA monthly quick shot to motivate you, in less than 45 seconds, from Julie Cohen CoachingHow might your PEACE impact the world?Dictionary*says:State of tranquility or quiet, freedom from civil disturbance, a pact or agreement to end hostilities between those who have been at war.What it REALLY means:The feeling of contentment with your life at present; your state of being when things feel comfortable, at ease, light; time in which you feel centered, calm and well. Courage and the Agony of Coaching Employees Coaching employees on sensitive and personal topics like performance or contribution to the organization can be as difficult and agonizing as telling a young son or daughter about sex for the first time. You end up playing the same mental games in your head over and over again: "What should they be told? How much do they already know? (Or how much do they want me to think they know?) How much detail should I go into?" If you are unable to answer any of these penetrating questions, you tend to put the task off for another six months. 3 Secrets to Developing Superior People Skills 1. If What You Are Doing Is Not Working Change Your ApproachWhen I was in school I always had a small group of close friends but I never found it easy meeting new people. Executive Coaching and Effective Learning We've all been through training events-workshops, seminars, and courses that didn't affect our behavior as much as we would have preferred. And while each provides valuable information and tools for increased productivity, most of us also understand what happens after the workshop is over. The Problem with Blame? If You Fix the Blame, You Ignore the Problem Have you ever found yourself in a hurry to leave the house for an appointment when you could not find your car keys?Imagine that you and a friend are in a hurry to leave for an important event. You turn over the couch cushions, rifle through the newspapers on the dining room table, search your previous day's pants pockets, and dig through your purse. Making Communication Effective: 4 Language Filters Language is a challenging way to communicate. It allows us to share our thoughts and feelings by describing our personal views of reality. How To Give Criticism Without Bruising Egos As responsible employers, parents, and friends, we have an obligation to correct the mistakes of other people in order to enhance their personal success. The task before us is how to correct a deficiency without damaging the delicate ego that can sometimes get in the way. The $10,000,000.00 Question When I asked my client, Amanda, what she would do if she won a $10,000,000.00 lottery prize, she quickly answered " I would move to Hawaii and sit on the beach all day. How Stella (Laurie) Got Her Groove Back! Being a Life Strategy Coach doesn't mean I'm always on top of my game, completely balanced and without my own challenges. Building a website, writing an e-book, getting a newsletter off the ground and securing clients required a great deal of work andcommitment. Executive Coaching The higher you climb the ladder in this organization, the less chance you have of getting feedback about your performance. The working rule of thumb is "the farther up you go, the stranger things get," especially in the way you are reviewed and rewarded. The Magic of Hearing I'm working on a coach training certification, and one of the "proficiencies" I'm expected to have mastered is "engages in provocative conversations." Now, that really got me thinking. What The Buddha Says About Coaches There is a Buddhist saying that goes like this: "If you meet the Buddha on the road, kill it." This means to kill any concept of the Buddha as something apart from oneself. Burn-Out ...Whats Next? If you feel the heat of burn-out, it is possible to stop the fire before it stops you. Burn-out burns out confidence trust hope Burn-out can burn up your job your marriage your friendships There is a simple strategy for helping yourself prevent burn-out, especially if you are a person with more responsibilities than choices. How Do You Build Momentum in Your Business and Life? A few weeks ago at a "Leadership from the Ground Up" conference, Donald Trump spoke about the ingredients for success. I found his topic on momentum very intriguing. The Incredible Rightness of Being An Age-Old QuestionSearching for more meaning in our lives has been an age-old preoccupation for us humans. Why am I here? What am I meant to do? What's the point of it all? And, most importantly in the modern-day world, what is it that will make me happy?Dissatisfaction, or "Gimme More!"It is human nature that when we feel dissatisfied with something - be it our jobs, our homes, our relationships, or even our lives in general - we feel there is something missing. Body Language Speaks Louder Than Words Has it ever occurred to you how much you are saying to people even when you are not speaking? Unless you are a master of disguise, you are constantly sending messages about your true thoughts and feelings whether you are using words or not.Studies show that your words account for only 7% of the message you convey.
|
|
|
| © Career Consulting Limited.com 2010
|