Career Consulting Limited
www.career-consulting-limited.com
|
|
 |
People |
|
|
 |
Expectations Can Get In Our Way
There are times when we truly look forward to something just as there are times when we totally dread something. What is the difference between anticipation with joy and anticipation with anxiety? Where and how does that expectation actually take place? If we think about it, the expectations take place in our minds. And, what that really means is that we totally make it up. We tend to create ideas and stories about how wonderful or awful something might be. If we expect things to be positive and then they're not, we have set ourselves up for a disappointment. If we expect something to be difficult or challenging, and it winds up being easy or fun, we are pleasantly surprised. The things that we expect are things that have not already taken place, so in essence, we can't possibly know for sure if they will be good or bad. Yet, we THINK they will be one way or another. All the while, the idea of good or bad is going on in our minds even though the actuality hasn't yet taken place. I can remember letting every distraction take me away from a project that I was really dreading. In my mind, I 'expected' the project to be difficult and time consuming. Clearly, I couldn't 'really' know what it would be like because it hadn't actually happened. Yet, I was convinced of all the negatives. Eventually, I set aside a block of time and 'forced' myself to deal with and finish it. What happened in reality? Once I set the time aside and focused on it, it went smoothly. It wasn't particularly difficult and the relief I felt when it was complete was enormous. That is not to say that the expectation may have turned out to be true. It may have been difficult, but it's important to note that either way, a lot of energy went into the expectation phase and could have gone directly into the reality of doing it -rather than wasting energy thinking and guessing what it might be like. Thinking back to a time when my children were quite young, my son, who is older than my daughter, was extremely cautious and conscientious. My daughter was much more of a free spirit who didn't concern herself about responsibility. My son came home from school without his hand-knit sweater. I went crazy not understanding how a child who is so responsible could do something so irresponsible. Then I caught myself - I thought if this had been my daughter, I would have expected something like that. And from that moment on, I realized how our expectations can get in the way and how our behavior can be based on ideas and thoughts that just aren't true and may have no relevance. ANY child could have left a sweater behind. The difference occurred only in my expectations. INVITATION TO EXPERIMENT:Is there something that you have expectations around? Perhaps, it's the behavior of another person, something you have put off doing, or maybe it's realizing that an expectation exists in your mind about something you would like to be different. If you are willing, notice your expectations and see them for what they really are - just ideas around something that may not be true or may not be possible. Also, notice how much time or energy goes into thinking about the ideas running rampant in your mind. Hopefully, you'll experience freedom and relief when dropping those ideas. Marion Franklin - is a Professional Certified Life Coach who coaches individuals and groups regarding personal and professional change, focus, human relations, and conflict management. Marion has coached managers at major corporations including PepsiCo, Toys'R'Us, and Reader's Digest. She conducts and help clients design workshops and presentations, has been a featured presenter at meetings, retreats, and an ongoing Women's Workshop Series, has been cited in The Journal News and The Wall Street Journal, and has appeared on local Cable Television.http://www.lifecoachinggroup.com
MORE RESOURCES:
Google News |
|
|
|
RELATED ARTICLES
Throw a No-Heat Party for the Planet Is it really possible to have loads of fun, and help the planet at the same time? I remember the first No-heat party I went to. It was on the coldest night of winter that year, according to the Farmer's Almanac. Nourishing Your Network It takes less effort to keep an existing customer than to gain a new customer.This is Business 101. What Is A Personal Trainer Imagine stepping into the gym for the first time in your life. There are so many machines and gadgets. Different New-Years Resolution - Pass-It-Forward Every 12 months, as the New-Year rolls around, we all brag about our New-Year's Resolutions. With inflated chests and with all the authority we can muster, we announce to any and every available ear, that we're going to lose weight, stop drinking and smoking so much, as well as spend more time with our family, in addition to investing more time down at the gym. Build Your People Skills How would you like to get along even better with others in your personal relationships and in the workplace? Getting along well with people sounds kind of general and is difficult to do much about, so let's break it down into some manageable and specific skills. By building the following skills, you will get along well with others:1. Communicating with Case Studies Not long ago, I made a partnership pitch, on behalf of an organization I represent, to another organization with similar interests. If the idea had come to fruition, it would have radically changed our organization. W Edwards Deming Immediately post second world war W Edwards Deming went to Japan to create order from the crisis that was the Japanese economy.In Japan he found fertile ground for a set of ideas that had been around since the twenties. Kabbalah Coach: Love the One Youre With IntroductionEvery one of us came to the planet to figure out how to experience love in the human form. It is amusing to observe all the ways we try to find love, especially since most of us don't even know what we are doing. Coaching vs. Directing - How Does Improv Theater Suggest You Should Lead Your Team An age old battle in improv that I believe resonates well with challenges we experience in the business world is the question of whether a team should have a coach or a director (in which case it should be called an ensemble). In addition there's the third option of the self coached team, which I will call committee from here on forward. Transform Your Image And Accelerate Your Success Being a lifelong student, I am regularly attending seminars etc. to become the best I can be in all areas of my life. We Are Exactly Where We Choose to Be The idea for this month's newsletter came from an unlikely encounter: I recently had lunch with a new friend named Rick Rockwell. You may remember him as the bachelor from the first-ever reality TV show, "Who Wants to Marry a Multimillionaire?"During our meeting, Rick described some of the knowledge he gained from doing the show, along with a few of past his experiences in business, ethics, and of course, primetime romance. People Pleasing and How to Stop! "People pleasing can leave you feeling empty and taken advantage of." Deb MeltonOne of the ways fear shows up in our lives and keeps us from living fully is when we become a people pleaser. The Great Marketing Reframe From grimaces to stomach knots, talking about marketing seems to take on the sound of Charlie Brown's teacher, with so many syllables of "wah WAaah, wah WAah, wah." What does this mean? For starters, I find it terrifying ironic that, when it boils down to it, truly - marketing and coaching are actually ONE. Do You Make These Common Mistakes When Talking to People? Many moons ago. Talking to people was something I avoided where possible. Sorry Dr Maslow, I Think You Got It Wrong In the 1950s Abraham Maslow published a book entitled " Motivation and Personality" in which he outlided his now famous Hierarchy of Needs. Over the years since its publication Maslow's work has gained wide acceptance as a tool in understanding human motivation. Mailey's Introspections [Monday, December 6th 2005] As I work with clients as their introspective Inner Peace/Relationship coach, an issue that has come to my awareness is the tendency we have as human beings to stray away from the present moment. Some people tend to live mostly in the past, some live in the future, while still others ricochet from future to past and back to the future again. The Power of Online Memberships Have you ever noticed geese flying overhead, whether that be south for the winter, or back home in the spring? In Canada where I live, this is a regular sight and a sure sign of the seasons passing. From time to time, it's easy to notice that there is a certain pattern to the flying geese. Passport to Passion Passion is a feeling of excitement and intensity. The energy of passion fuels a fulfilled life, and supports the growth and development of our personal purpose and potential. Courage and the Agony of Coaching Employees Coaching employees on sensitive and personal topics like performance or contribution to the organization can be as difficult and agonizing as telling a young son or daughter about sex for the first time. You end up playing the same mental games in your head over and over again: "What should they be told? How much do they already know? (Or how much do they want me to think they know?) How much detail should I go into?" If you are unable to answer any of these penetrating questions, you tend to put the task off for another six months. Managing Your Perfectionism What Is Perfectionism?This is the first of two newsletters that address perfectionism. In this issue, we will explore what perfectionism is and why it is destructive.
|
|
|
| © Career Consulting Limited.com 2010
|