Great communication skills can be developed through understanding the active components of being assertive, speaking effectively, understanding the 'customer' and learning to listen. So communicating is one of your most crucial skill elements.

Assertiveness in communication skills

• Assertiveness is not passive it is communicating the positive way.
• Assertiveness is not aggressive it is the most acceptable way.
• Saying what you want avoids misunderstanding.
• Saying what you mean doesn't need to cause upset.
• Saying ‘no’ without fear liberates you and others.

The most self-assured and confident of us have experienced awkward business or social encounters at some time or another. These awkward moments can easily colour our encounters with other people, leaving us and them with a residual feeling of discomfort, resentment or "unfinished business" after we have parted.

We are left with a "red face" because we believe we have said the "wrong" thing; or we may feel resentful at having been "ripped off" because we did not get our point across clearly in a business deal.

Other common problem areas include those few moments before answering a summons to see the boss in his office or standing up to say a few words in public.

Dealing with unwelcome demands from others, handling just or unjust critical attack and claiming our rights when others seem bent on thwarting them are, for the most of us, at the most stressful end of the "awkwardness" continuum. In extreme cases, we may show signs of stress and anxiety - such as breaking into a cold sweat, feeling our vocal cords seize up or our hands and legs beginning to shake uncontrollably. Yet we can develop better assertiveness techniques in our communication skills repertoire.

"He who hesitates is not lost"

Almost all difficulties we experience when encountering other people are due to "automatic responding" where, we have begun talking without first properly engaging our brain and are in the process of saying something which we already regret.

1. The right to change your mind

2. The right to make mistakes

3. The right to make decisions or statements without having to justify them.

4. The right not to know or understand about something

5. The right to feel and express emotions, both positive and negative, without feeling that it is weak or undesirable to do so

6. The right not to get involved with someone else's problems if you do not want to

7. The right to refuse demands on you

8. The right to be judge of yourself and your own actions and to cope with their consequences

9. The right simply to be yourself without having to act for other people's benefit

10. The right to do all of these things without giving any reasons at all for your actions

Speaking Effectively in our Communication Skills

• Use of influencing skills to get your message across
• Open and closed questions and when to use each
• Building rapport by communicating helps understanding
• Using the correct tone avoids unnecessary conflict
• Avoiding snap judgments

Speaking effectively is one half of communicating well. Good communication requires understanding by the listener of the speaker's intended message. So the onus is on the speaker to ensure that the message they deliver is both heard and understood.

How can this be achieved?

Create an environment where it is physically possible for the listener or audience to actually hear what is being said, and ensure that conditions are as comfortable as possible.
Build rapport with the listeners through the careful use of vocabulary avoiding too much jargon or over-use of long or complex forms of words.

People are known to operate in three modes - visual, auditory or kinaesthetic and generally favour one. In fact most people - about 80% - are visual, so choosing words which reflect this mode will help to build rapport.
Try to see what visual people are saying; hear what auditory people are getting at, and feel what kinaesthetic people mean. It's usually clear from the words that people choose when speaking or responding which mode they favour.

Also consider the way in which you speak: careful matching of the tone, delivery speed and volume to that of your listener will help their comfort factor.

Take care not to overdo or copy their accent or you may sound like you are a caricature of them.
Use your body language - generally open and relaxed - to signal your ease and comfort with them; they in turn will feel easier and more comfortable with you.

Customer Service Communication Skills

When we talk about Customer Service what we mean is the ability to understand and meet the expectations of both Internal and External customers and suppliers through a sound understanding of their requirements and a commitment to continuous improvement. Many people fail to understand that the person to whom you supply a drawing for example, is an internal customer; the department where you deliver the mail is an internal customer. Therefore the things we have to consider are:

• Putting customers needs first

• Dealing with difficult customers

• Handling complaints through good communication

• Maintaining contact and communicating with clients

• Being customer focused

• Aware of the need to develop customer/supplier relationships

• Has a process to ensure that Internal and External customer and supplier requirements are clearly and unambiguously understood and met

• Displays a knowledge and application of quality techniques Has appropriate indicators in place to measure levels of customer satisfaction
• Seeks opportunities to continuously review all processes Shares feedback from customers with associates
• Benchmarks internally and externally
• Has a plan in place to continuously improve quality, cost and delivery performance for each customer
• Sets an example in seeking continuous improvement as a customer and supplier

Constantly seeking to improve customer service standards; spending time talking to the customer and providing opportunities to develop relationships.

You view other departments as internal customers and give them good service.

You always base decisions on the long term interests of your customer whilst always delivering the short and medium term targets.

You understand the value of establishing processes to obtain customer views and feedback on your performance.

For an interesting customer service story visit Roman or Norman?

Listening Skills & Communication Skills

• Active listening is the key to communicating
• Avoid leading the speaker; let them use their own words
• Understanding feelings; communicating empathy
• Evaluate the facts
• Reflect feelings and meanings

Really effective communication skills rely to an enormous extent on Listening Skills so a major part of communication is lost if the listener doesn't know how to listen.

"Because it was said doesn't mean it was heard; and even if it was heard, it doesn't mean it was understood."

So what do you consider to be good communication?

It is:

• The passing of Information from one person to another
• A two way circuit with at least two people involved
• Words alone are not communication
• Understanding "sensed" from tone, gesture and facial expression
• The listener "infers" their own understanding
• The speaker must check understanding is what was meant
• Main barriers to good communication are: emotion, language and environment

Rules for Good Communication:

• Clarify ideas and how they are to be communicated
• Identify the purpose of the message and break down if necessary
• Consult other people, their support comes from contributing
• Consider the whole situation; what form and where?
• Be aware of the affect of expression, gestures, tone of voice
• Help the listener, acknowledge their point of view
• Follow up with questions to ascertain understanding
• Allow enough time and repeat if needing future action, also remind
• Support your communication by your own actions
• Aim to understand as well as being understood.

Effective Listening

Listening is an active not passive process. What alone counts is what the audience hears, thinks was said, understands and thinks is meant. Listening effectively avoids misunderstandings and is the first step to good communication.

It depends on:

- hearing the words
- Identifying the language and the words used
- Making sense of the sequence of words
- Understanding the meaning of the sentences
- Evaluating what was said
- Distinguishing fact from opinion

Can you claim to listen, hear and understand as well as you might?

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